What a day I had yesterday. Whew! The day kicked off 4:45 a.m. with a Declaration of Hate email from a former blog follower. I read that email over coffee while listening to NPR (like one does). As I showered, I thought about how today is the deadline for all of my Q-end Fund Commentary and a good percentage of the Analysts I rely on for this information are behind as well – to no fault of their own, I mean hey, it’s Q-end and they have a lot going on like catering to the PMs (portfolio managers).
I ran into a friend on the train, who told me about something painful that’s going on in her life.
I arrived at work only to realize I had forgotten there was a welcome breakfast for our new hire. Knowing there wasn’t going to be anything at the breakfast I can eat I opted to skip the soiree and proceed to roll up my sleeves and dig into my work.
Last night we all received brand new 24” monitors. Due to the type of work we do, we all have double monitors as singles just don’t cut it. Anyway, after I settled in, I overheard our resident Temp, who has been with us for over a year now; complain how she only got one monitor. I stood up in my cube to say that I lobbied for her to get two – because I was in the office last night while the tech guys were doing their ‘thing’. I further explained, short of twisting an arm [figure of fucking speech, btw!!!!], there wasn’t much I could do for her because according to one of the tech dudes, there is only so much inventory ordered per cost center. I listened to her rant for, I don’t know say a good solid 15 minutes, all the while thinking, honey, if you think you’ve got problems, try dealing with what I’ve got on my plate today…
Throughout the morning, I was receiving pressure from every angle because today, as mentioned above, is a critical deadline and I lost a day thanks in part to Monday being a holiday. There were moments throughout the morning where I could feel the stress closing in on me. My chest felt tight, my neck ached and all I wanted to do was just disappear.
But I knew I had to get a grip. I needed to do what a former manager used say to do: “Take a walk, go reset yourself and come back.” So that’s what I did. While sucking in 20 degree fresh air, I realized that there are people out there right now who would be happy to trade places with me if this is my only worry and care in the world…
Armed with a new perspective I returned to the office. Opened up MSFT Word and typed the following in a large font, printed it and placed it on my desk, in front of my keyboard:
- 3 days ago a co-worker died suddenly at the age of 50. No explanation or understanding of why. His family is shocked and devastated, to say the least.
- My brother passed away at the same age in 2010 and his birthday is coming up on Jan 31st – I’m sure the kids he left behind are realizing the same thing, which will only resurrect the memories of seeing their father dying at home under hospice care while cancer ravaged his body.
- A co-worker’s wife is in the ICU from the flu. Evidently, the flu virus has gone to her brain and she is currently in a coma and my co-worker is an ABSOLUTE FUCKING WRECK!
- This morning, another co-worker of mine told me her dog has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. And she too is an ABSOLUTE FUCKING WRECK.
- As I type this, millions of animals are suffering and dying at the hands of humans and the consequences of these actions are affecting our planet.
- While I sit here typing, millions of people all over the world and even in the good ole USA are going without food and shelter thanks in part to any of the following: war, poverty, food shortages, joblessness, homelessness and so on. These people are going without basic needs while I am sitting here, eating an apple, with a roof over my head, a god job, clothing, and free access to water.
- And what I have failed to realize is simply this: when some bit of drama rises up in my life I need to focus on the big picture and take into consideration that others have it much much worse and what I am going through, in this very moment, is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that I should be grateful for what I have and realize that in the great grand picture otherwise known as the Universe, I am nothing more than a fucking speck and when I die, the Universe will continue on loooooooong after I am dead and gone.
Suffice it say, I was able to get through the remainder of my day with some much needed perspective!
Enjoy your weekend everyone!